I’ve got patches
On my jacket
And my friends are way tougher than you
Fuck sleeves, I don’t need sleeves,
Check out my fucking sick wolf tattoo

Oh cargo shorts are my life
I can choke anyone out with my huge meaty thighs
My Nlnuts are the size of bowling balls, my tea bags are deadly, that’s why I got a 12 inch lift installed my Chevy.

I know why you’re scared of me
My nipples are pierced, and I’m pushing obese
You don’t know dick, I’ll show you thicc.

I can grow a beard on command
I can jerk off with no hands
I dont think you understand,
I'm the real Dirty Dan

I can deep throat a tallboy,
But I swear I'm not gay.
Just ask my mom I'm super fucking straight.

You think you're tough lets see you back it up!
1v1 me in rust, I'll straight fuck you up.
360 no scopes to put you in a spin,
My K/D wrecks, there's no chance that you will ever win!

I’m the king of opening
Give me all the things
Pickles, beer, and jelly
Ain’t got shit on me
I’m so strong, maybe even too strong, holy shit

I smoke when I chew and I chew all the time, lungs blacker than the metal I write
I main line Red Bull; roll coal like a steam boat, Look at me wrong and Ill punch you in the throat.
I swear to god I’ll punch you in the fucking throat

I can grow a beard on command
I can jerk off with no hands
I dont think you understand,
I'm the real Dirty Dan

I can deep throat a tallboy,
But I swear I'm not gay.
Just ask my mom I'm super fucking straight.

My son said you were talking smack
Punk, Do I need to call your dad?
I kicked his ass in high school
And I’ll kick yours too

Fuck IPAS I only butt chug PBR
It’s not a phase, I was born to party hard
I’m front of the line, Salty Spitoon for the night
You’re not allowed inside, Weenie Hut Junior is your kind of hype.

I’m the real Dirty Dan, don’t make me show you these hands

I can grow a beard on command
I can jerk off with no hands
I dont think you understand,
I'm the real Dirty Dan

I can deep throat a tallboy,
But I swear I'm not gay.
Just ask my mom I'm super fucking straight.

This is for all you bitches in the back let’s see if you can make that ass clap.
Guys, no homo, whip it out let me see you shake that nut sack
Oh fuck up this pit
Let’s show them thicc.